Friday, April 10, 2009

A Long Overdue Spring Greeting

To prove just how lazy and negligent we have become with regards to this blog, I am just now posting this long overdue update almost two weeks after it was written.

Local elections are occurring, none of my students showed up for class, and thus I am currently getting paid to write a long overdue update for our friends and families. The last month or so has been quite eventful and I have decided that bullet points are the easiest way for a lazy writer to summarize past occurrences and random thoughts (readers beware: the following events are bereft of any semblance of order [chronological/logical/etc.])…

• After some classroom management problems resulted in a 32-year old man swearing at Nellie I lost my temper, turned vigilante, and accosted this miniature human being with a stream of obscenities outside our school. This small hiccup in customer service was invariably met with slight disappointment by my superiors and caused almost half of the class to revolt further against Nellie (once again proving that I am preternaturally skilled at exacerbating any situation to fever pitch levels). As I expected, the next day the aforementioned bag of scum and his gang of teenage accomplices barricaded the remaining loyal students in the classroom - admonishing them for choosing to remain under the tutelage of such a disrespectful foreigner. After they were ordered out of the building by staff, they subsequently followed us down the road for what I was convinced would culminate in a “Beat It”-esque, choreographed street brawl accompanied by hip thrusts and synthesizer (my advance apologies for the obligatory Michael Jackson reference). To my chagrin, their thinly veiled threats and insults never added up to much more than some obscene gestures and dirty looks. As for the aftermath… our brilliant employer chose the higher path, catered to this adolescent thuggery, and gave these ill-mannered bastards a private course at another school branch. Business as usual, Turkish style.
• Nellie has morphed into quite the housewife and won’t allow me to step foot into her private domain (the kitchen) while cooking is taking place.
• We have found a great group of buddies over here and the revolving cast of characters that accompanies us to various cafes, bars, and (inevitably) more bars has definitely made the assimilation process smoother. Initially, I thought Istanbul would provide a bit of respite from the fast pace of life I had become accustomed to in the States; nevertheless, only the scenery has changed and we are still finding ourselves constantly being entertained by (or entertaining) the homies.
• The weather has been miserable for the past three months; yet, as I write this entry the sun is shining for the second straight day and the cats in our neighborhood are exponentially multiplying in number. Judging by these two facts, spring is here my friends and love is in the air (at least for the omnipresent feline population).
• When we were recently invited to a sushi dinner by Nellie’s brother I was immediately reluctant to take part in a feast of raw fish in this land of lax health regulations; however, I naturally caved in to Nellie’s persistence and although the quality was by no means nonpareil, it was a nice change from our common means of weekly sustenance – homecooked pasta, chicken shish kebab, Efes pilsner, repeat.