I started reading birth stories years before actually becoming
pregnant. I was always drawn to home
births, water births, and natural birth stories. After reading each one I would imagine
writing my own birth story… so my ideal birth was created: natural, pain-medication free, empowering,
and uplifting.
After a long road to getting pregnant, I finally found
myself 12 weeks along with a little bean that seemed to want to stick
around. I did my research and found a
doctor in Ho Chi Minh City willing to try a natural birth (most doctors here
push for c-sections) and ordered an array of natural birthing books. Over the next few months, I drilled Gavin on
what to say when medical interventions were suggested, we practiced massage
techniques, and pain mediation methods.
Gavin claimed he was going to become the first male doula in Saigon,
that’s just how prepared he felt!
We were excited and anxious to get the show on the road with
our mystery baby (as we’d decided to keep the gender unknown) as we reached the
35th week. At a routine visit
to the doctor, we were told that my very large bump was actually getting bigger
due to elevated amniotic fluid levels.
They wanted to keep an eye on it and asked us to come in weekly for
check-ups. Each week my bump grew even
bigger, and my fluid levels were growing rapidly.
At 38 weeks we were told we needed to get the baby out of there
and encouraged to try natural induction methods. We created a rigorous routine of raspberry
leaf tea, spicy food, (irregular) sex, and nipple stimulation to try and get
things moving. No luck. Finally at 39 weeks and 5 days, my doctor
said the baby had to get out, otherwise delivery wasn’t safe. I ran the risk of both a prolapsed umbilical cord
and placental separation if my waters were to break at home. Plus with all the additional fluid, the baby
was able to move around too freely, changing positions constantly and leaving
the little one unable to engage into the correct birthing position.
After a cervical exam, it was apparent that there was very
little chance I would even dilate on my own.
I was massive, tired, and defeated.
We scheduled an induction for the following day. My doctor warned me that while he was willing
to give me two days worth of induction, it might not work.
Friday morning, April the 4th, we checked in and
began 8 hours of a Pitocin drip. I moved
from the bed to the birthing ball, Gavin rubbed my back, and we talked about
the baby. Although I had contractions
all day, my cervix never opened. We
spent the night at the hospital in hopes that it might pick up in the night and
I might go into labor after all of the medication. That night I awoke at midnight to sharp
contractions. I finally woke up Gavin at
2am. We called the midwife to check me
at 3. We honestly thought it had worked…
but no dilation, no progress. I got up
and walked the halls for a while, poking my head in the nursery to look at all
the babies. By the time I got back into
bed, the contractions had all but stopped.
We started the second day of induction at 6am. My doctor let us know that we had a C-section
scheduled for 10am if no progress was made.
That morning we didn’t even fight the nurses about the fetal monitoring,
I didn’t even bother sitting on the ball, and I don’t even remember feeling a
contraction.
I was partly terrified, partly cool and collected, as they
shaved me and prepped me for surgery. I
cried. Gavin, scrubbed up and dressed
for the occasion, met me in the O.R. waiting-area. The doctor told us there was another major
surgery going on, so it would be a bit of a wait. We laughed and talked… still arguing over
little boy names!
Finally they wheeled me into the theater, separating Gavin
and I while they prepared me for surgery.
They gave me a spinal epidural.
This was by far the scariest part for me. I cried on the nurses arm trying to stay as
still as possible while it was administered.
Once that started to take effect everything moved very quickly… a sheet
went up in front of my head, blocking the view of my body. Sterile packages of tools were being open and
things were being set up. I looked over
at the warming bed where I knew the baby would be placed, realizing that would
be a good place to focus my attention.
They set out a pink hat on the table; confusing my addled and
drug-fuzzed brain as I didn’t know the gender yet. I felt a little angry as I was totally
convinced our baby was a boy. How could
they dress a baby boy in PINK?
I felt like I was going to throw up and they placed a small
cold sliver dish against my face.
Suddenly Gavin was there. It
really gets hazy at that point. Gavin
said they had pretty much started the incision the moment he stepped into the
operating theatre. He held my hand and
lovingly stroked my head and was standing so he could see what was happening on
the other side of the sheet.
There was a surprise when they started to pull the baby out
as the little one had flipped breech at some point since our last scan on
Thursday. That was exactly what one of
the natural delivery fears had been in the first place. I would have had to
have a c-section anyways due to her presentation - even if the induction had worked!
Our doctor pulled her out feet first and said in Vietnamese
that she was in fact a girl! Gavin
clarified in Vietnamese that it was a girl, but got his words mixed up and for
a split second or two we remained in the dark until finally it was confirmed in
English that we had had a little girl!
She was whisked over to the warming table and had some
suction done. Gavin was right there,
calling her by her name and greeting her.
She made a few little cries. The
nurse wrapped her up and brought her over to me so I could kiss her. I hardly remember that part of Lucy’s birth -
which just kills me. Pretty soon, Gavin
and Lucy were gone and I was alone in the theater for some time being stitched
up and put back together. Then I was whisked
off to a two-hour recovery room before I got to properly see my girl. I asked about her every minute for the two
hours until they finally said it was time to go… undoubtedly the longest two
hours of my life was spent in that room.
When they wheeled me out to the elevator, Gavin and Lucy
were right there waiting for me. We were
pushed up to our room where Lucy was immediately put on my chest for skin-to-skin
contact and breastfeeding. She took to
it like a champ! There, in that sterile,
whitewashed room, our little family of three got to know each other for the
next few days.
Do I feel “robbed” of my natural birth? Sort of…
Do I dwell on the events that transpired three weeks ago? Sometimes.
Was it emotionally traumatic getting an unplanned c-section? Of course. Would I do it all over again for Lucy? In a heartbeat.
Although Lucy wasn't born the way I had originally expected or hoped, she came in to this world healthy and perfect - which is all
that really matters in the end.
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